How do freshmen get invited to more parties than I do? I mean seriously. I am awesome.

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

#me too

7 deadly sins. put one in my ask.

Lust: Something that I find attractive.
Pride: Something that I like about myself.
Sloth: Something that I dislike about myself.
Envy: Something I wish I was better at.
Gluttony: One of my favorite foods.
Wrath: Something that gets me angry.
Greed: Something I can’t get enough of.

zooeyclairedeschahell:

“cool jeans,” i tell a cute boy

little did he know that i actually talking about his genes because those chromosomes have combined beautifully ay papi

pastashovel:

Cobra Starship - “Hollaback Boy” 

UH HUH HOLY SHIT IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU GET OFF MY DICK

lamarinazul:

This is so me.

myso-soup:

sad-ellite:

morninqs:

unf

jesus

Ovaries are gone.

If you don’t think history is amusing, you clearly haven’t seen Adolf Hitler in shorts

pure-blood-idjit-of-gallifrey:

castiel-is-a-assbutt:

Zis if from mein spring collection

lolsofunny:

it’s sad to see it get old and rusty :(

that is so fucking creative…i never really realized they did that

:(

My childhood :(

Those movies just got darker and darker.

the one thing i love about this post is how no one even had to say what movie these are from.. every one just ….. knew.

^

WE ALL KNEW. 

My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother

BFF: Grandmother I need to talk to you
Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
BFF: No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
Grandma: What?
BFF: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.

honksy:

*on my deathbed*

nurse: do you have any last words

me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….

*the light goes out of my eyes*

*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*

*the paper says one word only*

“sike”